My Green Family. ramblings of one family's journey to green living

Almost three months ago we got the official diagnosis of autism. We had waited almost three months for the appointment with the developmental pediatrician and I can’t even tell you how nervous I was for it. We pretty much knew what he was going to say, but I still had hope that we would not get the diagnosis of autism.

So I got everyone dressed nice that morning. I made sure Odum and I where in our best “respectable good parent” clothes, which of course were also bike friendly. I dressed Maya in her cutest “eat me I’m so adorable” outfit. And Tristan in a cute little collared shirt that said “I’m such a sweet little man”. I mean if you have a good looking and well put together, perfect looking family how can you possibly give one of the most devastating diagnoses right?

We get the office and the receptionist is nice, the waiting room is empty and there are toys. So far so good. We get called into the office and all hell breaks lose. Tristan loses it and goes into a nuclear holocaust meltdown, the likes of which I have never seen. I have no idea what triggered it. There were no toys in the office but we brought the toy he was playing with in with us, but to no avail. We’re in there for about 45 minutes and he tells us Tristan fits the criteria and he’s going to give him the diagnosis of autism. This whole time Tristan is screaming and the doctor literally winces at every high pitched squeal and doesn’t try anything to calm him or even interact with him in any way, doesn’t even attempt an examination. Seriously I thought this guy was a pediatrician, the leading developmental pediatrician and autism expert in our city. Doesn’t he deal with this type of behaviour on a daily basis?

So we start talking about autism. He tells us it’s genetic. I politely disagree telling him there is no history in either mine or Odum’s family of any type of developmental delay. His response is we have more questions about autism, than answers. We tell him we have Tristan on the gluten free/casein free diet and have noticed some good results. He scoffs and says well if you want to go to all that trouble go for it but it usually isn’t helpful and no studies have been done to prove its useful.

Um hello, we just freaking told you it’s been helping! Odum and I had talked before the appointment about asking the doctor about biomedical intervention but at this point through spousal telepathy we decided to not even bother. He then says we can talk about prescribing drugs to help problem behaviour. Really let’s just mask the behaviour and not find out why it’s happening, ya lets just dope him up so he sits in the corner staring off into space and drooling, sounds like a great idea doc! He then tells us that Tristan will probably always have to live with us and won’t be able to be independent. He tells us all he can do is refer Tristan to IBI therapy which is a three year wait list and you don’t even get on the wait list until Tristan is screened to see if he is autistic enough. Wow! Thanks for the hope doctor, seriously you’re the expert?

So that’s how our first appointment with this guy ended. Can you tell that I was super excited to take Tristan for his three month follow up appointment? But in a way I was interested to see how Tristan behaves and what differences the doctor sees (by the way we have recently been to the doctor again for his three month follow up and I’ll post what happened there shortly).

In the last three months Tristan has come so far. He’s talking now! My goal for Tristan is to go back to the doctor one day and be undiagnosed. I just know he’s going to prove this guy wrong, and maybe even change his mind about how to treat kids with autism and how to talk to their parents. It’s called bedside manner buddy!

Do you think the doctor was just trying not to give us false hope and help us plan for the worst? Or do you think this guy just needs an attitude adjustment?